I AM the Door: Reflections on the Gospel of John

            There are so many things I could comment on about John’s gospel that it’s hard to know where to start! I’ve long been intrigued by the way it opens, not with a narrative account of Jesus’ birth like Matthew and Luke; and not without preamble as in Mark’s gospel. John instead takes the time to introduce his readers to Jesus by directing them back to Genesis chapter 1… “in the beginning…”.  He states that Jesus (the Word) is God, which Jesus Himself also claimed throughout His ministry. These statements, as revealed in the gospels and in John in particular, are often lost on modern-day, non-Jewish readers, but to the readers and hearers in that day the intent and meaning behind Jesus’ claims would have been both crystal clear and shocking. His use of the phrase “I Am” was directly and deliberately correlated to God’s name for Himself as revealed in His conversation with Moses (Exodus 3:14), which the Jews would have immediately recognized. It’s pertinent to note that Jesus didn’t merely make these statements verbally, but He also communicated these truths by His actions. For instance, He stated, “I am the bread of life”, and also miraculously fed thousands of people. He claimed to be “the light of the world”, and healed a blind man, literally illuminating that man’s world!  

            I think one of the things I notice more now than I used to is the depth and character of Jesus’ personality. He’s not the dry, boring, humorless man that is so often depicted in movies and paintings; and even by many Christians I’ve encountered over the years, including myself at times. He overturned the status quo (and continues to do so), in much the same way he overturned tables in the temple. He cared very little about what was culturally and socially acceptable. He spoke to women and children, slaves and foreigners. He didn’t approach His conversations with people in a scripted fashion. Every encounter He had was uniquely tailored to that individual.  He asked lots of questions, not because He needed the information but because the other person needed to be drawn out or challenged in some way, yet always with the other person’s best interest in mind. One of my favorite passages is in chapter 8 where the Pharisees brought a woman to Him caught in the act of adultery (btw…How did they know when and where to find her?… Where was the man who was also committing adultery?… This “testing” of Jesus reeks of calculated, arrogant antagonism toward Jesus and indifference toward the woman.).  Jesus’ handling of the situation is brilliant, in that He upholds the validity of Old Testament law while at the same time demonstrating the New Testament mercy that He alone can provide.

            Another passage that stands out is Jesus’ encounter with Mary following the death of her brother, Lazarus (chapter 11).  I think people often believe that they’re not allowed to express to God when they are angry or upset about something, but here in this account, in verse 32, Mary blurts it out… “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”  She’s angry and confused, questioning Him for His apparent failure to arrive on time. She knows who He is and believes in both His goodness and His power, but in that gut-wrenching moment her faith is in conflict with her experience.  He of course responds with compassion. He weeps, I think, partly in loving empathy toward her in that moment in time, and partly for the brokenness of our fallen world that brought death, in all its forms, that we were never intended to experience. I appreciate the reminder that we can and should be genuine in our relationship with Him. That we can cry and doubt and ask Him questions and even express hurt or anger, and He responds with grace and mercy.  He also reminds us, as He did Mary, that “if you believe, you will see the glory of God” (v 40). This doesn’t mean that things will always get better immediately. They often don’t. But it does mean that we can trust Him completely, even in our waiting. Ultimately, Jesus responded by going to the cross on our behalf and offering permanent restoration and resurrection to us all.

“And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself would not contain the books that would be written.”

John 21:25, NASB

Michelle Haywood Smith is a Jesus follower, image bearer, ezer, worship leader, vocalist, acoustic guitar player, aspiring poet & songwriter, blogger, reader, perpetual learner, chocolate acquisition specialist;)….and also a daughter, sister, wife, mother & friend. 

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